20 Minutes ago in Louisiana, Terry Bradshaw was confirmed as…See more

Agriculture Commissioner Mike Strain admitted the idea came after Bradshaw’s viral 2023 TikTok rant about “proper peelin’ technique.” “Nobody defends Louisiana’s crustaceans with more passion—or more one-liners,” Strain said, as Bradshaw demonstrated his “spiral peel” method (involving a football spin move).

Reactions were instant. Drew Brees tweeted “Geaux get ‘em, Terry,” while Swamp People star Troy Landry offered to be his “deputy in charge of gator-crawfish relations.” Even the White House took notice—POTUS joked about adding a “Crawfish Czar” to the Cabinet.

Bradshaw’s first act? Declaring crawfish étouffée the official state hangover cure and negotiating a truce between warring boil masters. “Listen here,” he barked, waving a giant wooden paddle, “We either unite behind the holy trinity—corn, potatoes, and Zatarain’s—or I’m benchin’ the whole state.”*

The role is unpaid, but Bradshaw insists the real reward is “finally outrankin’ my own statue in Shreveport.” His inaugural “Crawfish Crisis Summit” kicks off next week—with a 2,000-pound boil and a keynote titled “From Tailgates to Tailpipes: How Crustaceans Built Louisiana.”